A Fat Tuesday Confession

i confess that i have to think hard about what i have to confess.

i confess that every day i am conflicted between the way i work for justice in the world and the way i harbor injustice in my heart. 

i confess that i don't often want to live in grace with those who hurt me...and that sometimes i think that i am more deserving of care and love and forgiveness than they are.

i confess that i don't like owning the ways that i perpetuate violence in the world.

i confess that i perpetuate violence every time i benefit from privilege in this world.

i confess that i would often rather hang out in places of guilt and shame rather than engage in a process of liberation.

i confess myself as genderqueer - as someone who does not buy in to the gender binary and believes that god is interested in the whole more than my ability to check a box.

i confess myself as queer - as someone who believes relationship is more important than how & which parts go together, who believes in the deviant as a catalyst to redemption, who believes that my bedroom is a sanctuary.

i confess my anger at the church for shutting down the erotic in our spiritual and religious practices.

i confess that i need other people to heal, create, love, and grow - and that makes me really angry sometimes. 

i confess the way i buy into the myth of independence and autonomy.

i confess that i am into borders and walls and the ways they keep me feeling safe, and that the only thing that often causes me to question those borders is when they keep me from someone i love. 

i confess myself as a complex being whose identities rage within me, struggle to be de-compartmentalized, desire to be seen and known.

i confess that i am known and loved and seen.

Comments

[wendy]

That last one is my favorite of all! YES!!!
Thank you for your authenticity here...